Original Commentary

It doesn't take much to brighten Brisbane's day, does it? Mind you, the previous arc was kind of phase 1 of this arc. Isabel and I co-wrote this comic. I need to go back and explain just why Brisbane was so happy last week... - Terrence

Modern Commentary
Emily has that effect on people.

I like Brisbane's positivity. He finds the little things in life and celebrates them. Last week, that vending machine ate his dollar and didn't give him anything so he breaks even. But if we're only looking at today he's ahead and that's what matters.- Terrence

Original Commentary

Kimberly and Brisbane's roles were reversed in early drafts - but it was actually more reasonable for Brisbane to want to go to this than for Kimberly to. Kimberly's first line there originally belonged to Brisbane. Also, I had originally envisioned this plot as a bonus comic book - a You Say it First summer picnic. But having everyone meet in an exclusive book seems unfair. Too likely for an important plot development to come up, then later strips may not make sense to new readers. Funny how we've got two comics about being invited somewhere you might not really want to go... - Terrence Brisbane really wants to be accepted, even by people he doesn't really like - Isabel

Modern Commentary
Ambrosia is a kind of fruit salad in whipped cream. I don't understand the appeal but it's the kind of thing that one would bring to a picnic or pot luck. I recall trying it repeatedly in the hopes of "getting it", but never did.
That orange texture in the third panel is from a CD of background textures. Those show up occasionally in the comic. We figured we'd get a lot more use out of it than we did.
There was a bonus punchline, where Kimberly also didn't have the heart to tell Brisbane that Emily offered to introduce her to a new guy. I think that got cut for space. - Terrence

Original Commentary

Robert never did get an explanation for why Brisbane was so happy last week. I really like Brisbane's expression in the third panel - Terrence

Modern Commentary
It's good to be included. Even if it's something that you don't want to do, sometimes I'd rather be invited than snubbed.

Also, I'm not sure what Emily was thinking when she told Kimberly to bring all her friends. That's not going to go well for her. - Terrence

Thursday, May 5th 2005 - [289]A Picnic in the Park (4 of 23)

Happy Online Comics Day 2005 from ND Unlimited.

Original Commentary

My original script had Kimberly inviting as many people as she could to Emily's picnic, including the lounge guys and some random strangers, for the sake of annoying Emily and running her out of food; Brisbane was just a patsy in that. "This doesn't bode well" was Brisbane's thought in the last panel. But it was decided that Kimberly wouldn't do that to Emily and the comic got changed - Terrence
Caleb's silhouette sure looks a lot like Twix. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Kimberly was going to be dressed as Kimberly Rew, but he doesn't really have an outfit. So she's just a generic rocker girl - Isabel

They are named after Richard Sinclair, who played bass with Caravan. Caleb (Quaye), a guitarist, who just went by one name on his single (but uses both on session work). And Kimberley Rew, who played lead guitar for The Soft Boys and Katrina & the Waves - Terrence

Modern Commentary
So, did Brisbane just tell a bunch of people "Hey, if you want to go to this picnic you should call my friend - a complete stranger to you - and let her know"? That just seems awkward.
So there's Kimberly, Brisbane, Robert, Jake, Jane, Lola, and three separate Lounge Guys. I guess Emily is counting Brisbane and Kimberly separately and is also counting her boyfriend David to get to that number. But Brisbane hasn't invited most of those people yet. So I have no idea how Emily got to ten. We never even considered introducing anyone new besides David here...

We had considered having Richard and Sinclair there, which would bring the numbers up, but we didn't have anything for them.

Anyhow, it was important to the punchline that it wasn't consecutive days. "Is it on Saturday or Sunday?" isn't funny. "Is it on Saturday or Wednesday?" is at least a little amusing. - Terrence

Original Commentary

Isabel wrote this, mainly to get the comic back in the direction I intended with the previous comic. Now I to finish the plot.

Modern Commentary
So, Brisbane thought he was supposed to invite a bunch of folks then Kimberly decided to run with it.
I kinda wish we had done this a bit more deliberately, with Kimberly setting Brisbane up for this. I've got notes about doing this both ways. I don't know why we decided Kimberly wouldn't do this on purpose (per yesterday's commentary) then decided that she'd lean into this happening by accident.

But Brisbane's definition of "and friends" includes a lot more people than Kimberly's. Or Emily's, it looks like. - Terrence

Original Commentary

Originally, Brisbane's first line was along the lines of "I can't believe there's a park within walking distance". But then Isabel pointed out that they walked to that same park last time Emily showed up, and it got rewritten - Terrence

Modern Commentary
The original punchline was "Let's not mention that while you're here". The second one is an improvement.

Favorite bit is the first panel, though. The implication that the only thing that would make Emily's picnic better is doing it without Emily. - Terrence