Monday, November 20th 2006 - [728]Party Line (1 of 6)
Jane
Robert
Party

Original Commentary

Jane is a lot more complex than I've shown and is #1 on my list of characters I want to do more with. Mind you, there are others who outrank her on the list of characters I feel I should do more with. Like David. At the moment, she only really interacts with Robert, Jake, and Sofia. Jake and Sofia-at-work are fairly limited and Jane is, almost unfortunately for her, a good listener - Terrence

Modern Commentary
Regarding the original commentary, one of my rules has been "No work means no work". If I don't have anything for a character, they don't show up. That's why David isn't around much.

On one hand, you find out how characters move by moving them. On the other hand, if I didn't have anything for Jane, then that's not a great place to work from - Terrence

Tuesday, November 21st 2006 - [729]Party Line (2 of 6)
Jane
Robert
Party

Original Commentary

Ok, it's kind of an old joke. But given the Halloween party that Brisbane and Kimberly threw, it's a valid point. The original draft included the line "I wore a bone in my hair for you!", but that seemed a bit much - Terrence

Modern Commentary
I like this comic.

Jane does like Brisbane and Kimberly well enough. But their party sucked. And if Robert and Jane only go to Robert's friends' parties, that's not really fair.

But on the other hand, Robert is kinda bad at parties and will have a worse time there than Jane did at Brisbane's - Terrence

Wednesday, November 22nd 2006 - [730]Party Line (3 of 6)
Robert
Jane
Antisocial

Original Commentary

No, Jane didn't answer the question in the last comic. She likes Brisbane but doesn't know Kimberly enough to really comment. Anyhow, yes, this entire arc is more about their backstory and relationship. And past-Jane is a lot more interesting than present-Jane, but we'll deal with that later - Terrence

Modern Commentary
I had hinted at Jane having an in-the-recent-past wild side that she was struggling to keep under control.

I didn't really develop that; it's mostly vestigial. I couldn't really explain it to Isabel, which is never a good sign. It either needed a lot more or a lot less of this - Terrence

Thursday, November 23rd 2006 - [731]Party Line (4 of 6)
Robert
Jane
Party

Original Commentary

No, most retail workers don't hate everyone. They just don't care. Robert, however, has a keenly developed sense of shame and can feel absolutely mortified over an offhand comment he makes. Even he knows nobody else remembered him say it...or even heard him in the first place - Terrence

Modern Commentary
My notes for this week were Jane -restless, dislikes her job, trying to be normal Robert - painfully shy, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

I mean, it all got checked off. But still, there's no stakes. Some storylines are here for the drama. Some storylines are here for the humor. This one is mostly here for texture. - Terrence

Friday, November 24th 2006 - [732]Party Line (5 of 6)
Robert
Jane

Original Commentary

Why aren't there any females? Because those are the names of the members of Gentle Giant. I considered Apples in Stereo, because of Hilarie Sidney, but she's not with the band anymore after she divorced the lead singer. That and they've gotten progressively more cartoony, and not really in a good way.

And no, there is no symbolism behind the names and the band. I considered using Yes (names are too normal - Jon, Chris, Steve, Rick, and Andy or Bill), Pink Floyd (Syd stands out far too much as a name - and if I go by his real name, I have two Rogers), King Crimson (lineup changed too often), The United States of America, or Jefferson Airplane (I don't even know their first names) - Terrence

Modern Commentary
I had remembered this comic as a labored reference that literally nobody would get.

I mean, it is that but also the joke that absolutely nobody that Robert knows of is going to be there. That's kinda solid. And let's face it, Nuggets hires inexperienced folks who leave as soon as they can find something better. There's enough turnover that this is funny but also kinda true

Also, bonus points to Robert for paying attention when Jane talks about her workday - Terrence

Sunday, November 26th 2006 - [733]Party Line (6 of 6)
Robert
Jane
High School
Drama
Hug
Engagement

Original Commentary

So, once again I need a moderately large number of names. These ones are from the album Lolita Nation by Game Theory. It's a great album that I'd suggest you get, except it's been out of print for a decade. I sometimes worry that I'm not making it obvious enough when the characters are saying important things or when it's just chatter. Robert doesn't understand what's going on and Jane only knows about it because the involved parties won't shut up.

There were an unusually large number of discarded jokes for this comic, including that everyone in the appliance department has been replaced four times in the last year but this kind of drama is endemic regardless. Or that people like that were why Jane spent her high school years with her hair dyed blue - Terrence

Modern Commentary
The cast page says Robert is 25 and I'm not really sure if that's his age at the beginning or end of the comic. But a lot of Jane's coworkers at this party are high schoolers and probably not old enough to legally drink.

I do not like the text of that third panel at all. It brings meaningless complexity. None of that will be on the test. It never comes up again and it doesn't matter.

I hope it comes across that none of that is important and you don't have to remember it. I hope.

If I had this to do over again, I would've cut the irrelevant chatter and maybe tried for a stronger parallel between this party and the Halloween party - Terrence

 
You Say it First  is © Terrence Marks and Isabel Marks, 2004-2013.
You Say it First has been on the web since February 2004 concluded in January 2013.