Original Commentary

The original version of panel 1 is today's sketch. I was going for an overhead shot - it didn't work so I scrapped it. I redrew it on another piece of paper. I'm not so happy about it, but that's life. The idea was three angles, all of the same pose. And yes, I know the hands are swung the other way in the first panel - Isabel

Isabel keeps telling me "no more talking head comics" and look what I do. Needed to be done - Terrence

Modern Commentary
It has a certain poetry to it, showing Kimberly from every angle here - Terrence

Original Commentary

Isabel wrote this, because I wasn't sure what to do and she got tired of waiting. I wasn't sure what to do because I'm not sure how many comics there will be this week and I try to pace things differently when the comic is 3/week. It looks like we'll make the goal now, though. Anyhow, the rejected options were Dan thinking to himself, or Ms. Taylor thinking to herself. But that'd be too slow, especially if we went three a week. And I think I'd be repeating myself a bit too much - we know how they feel, more or less - Terrence

Modern Commentary
Should I point out my own weaknesses? May as well; we're 18 years onward.

I become hesitant to move the day forward. The strip tends to linger a bit on the end of the workday because I want to make sure I don't miss anything that needs to have happened.

This is because I'm writing and re-writing until the last minute. And beyond, sometimes.- Terrence

Original Commentary

This whole segment has been foreshadowing for the next major plot point in the story and also kind of a refresher as to the troubles that Brisbane and Kimberly seem to be having with their relationship lately. What was Brisbane implying with the whole "we can do that here" line? That, I leave up to you - Isabel

Modern Commentary
And the peace has been disturbed...

It's too bad; Kimberly was really enjoying just being with Brisbane. Her mind was off the problem at hand.

It was nice while it lasted - Terrence

Original Commentary

Brisbane's last line about the video games was added in last minute to make the segue between this comic and tomorrow's smoother (since both this comic and the next day's comics will be shown right next to each other).

Working through lunch is always a difficult thing to have to do on the job, without bonus problems. I'm surprised he had the strength to make out with Kimberly (this may not matter so much to all of you, considering you've never seen Kimberly make out). -Isabel

Modern Commentary
We didn't show Kimberly being angry or sullen. She kissed Brisbane and snuck past him, which is definitely unpredictable. But perhaps there were some bad vibes over dinner. - Terrence

Original Commentary

originally the script called for Brisbane and Robert to be chatting in game (without headsets). I looked at that and, well, really wasn't feeling up to it. So now the two of them are just instant messaging within the game (thus, their IGNs are showing). It works just as well, really. After talking about it we decided it was a much smoother transition to see the guys talk, rather than their characters (it also makes for a smoother transition for newer readers or those just turning in and don't know about Final Battle Adventure On-line).-Isabel

Modern Commentary
My original pitch notes for this storyline include "Brisbane will, of course, be drawn into the confidence of both sides. Robert will try to do the right thing. Jane will talk him into laying low. He will not be able to have any effect, either way. Jake may be re-hired."

None of that happened. I'm glad it didn't; there was rather a lot going on without Jake or Jane getting involved. Next time, perhaps - Terrence

Original Commentary

Who's Al? Just a random name. All that remains of Dan's conspirators who got cut from the script. I just didn't want them all to be thinking to themselves. But I couldn't just have him think "Yep. Everything's working out" - Terrence

Modern Commentary
So, is that Al Fletcher that Dan is talking to? I mean, maybe. There's probably a couple guys named Al at the company.

Al Fletcher has been there a long time and might be one of the minor shareholders. But he also doesn't care to get involved in the company outside of the shipping operations. Could go either way, really - Terrence