Original Commentary

Dun dun dun!

Anyhow, there was about thirty seconds I was considering putting this on the front page of the paper. Then I realized that there's no way that would ever be a front-page headline unless the robber was, I don't know, a president or Paris Hilton or something. And in that case, there'd be no way that Lola's picture would be under the headline - Terrence

Modern Commentary
That's probably page B5 or something. Back when papers had a proper local section...

Why is he reading the paper with the lights off? Because he can - Terrence